“It’s like regular dating- only better.”
That’s the enticing appeal of the “sugar bowl,” as it’s referred to on the sugar dating website Secret Benefits (www.secretbenefits.com). How is it “better” than other dating services? Well, as the helpful blogs contained within site suggest, sugar dating, which is the official term for the practice of building a relationship on reciprocity instead of traditional gender politics, saves time, creates a fair sense of play, and can be incredibly satisfying for all parties involved.
I signed up as a sugar baby looking for her sugar daddy. I wanted to share my experiences with Secret Benefits, and show all those potential sugar daddies out there what to expect when pursuing their own baby to spoil.
Creating a Profile
I found the setup process to be reasonably easy, as I didn’t have to answer nearly as many questions as the typical matchmaking sites, like OKCupid. I gave my contact information, a general description of myself, and a few photos to get started. I tried to be as sexy, witty, and playful as I could, and with my matches, I believe it worked.
One thing that I wasn’t expecting, but I thought was pretty cool about the site: they have built-in verification services on the site. So, if you’re worried about getting catfished or scammed, you have the option of doing photo or video verification to prove that the person in the pictures is actually the person you’ll be dating. Not every profile has this, but I don’t know why- it made it easier for me to be more open on the site when I could see that a person really is who they say they are. I went through the verification myself…It took about 30 seconds, and once I had the verification on my profile, I really think it gave me a leg up, especially with the video, which I recorded with a “sultry bedroom voice”… that definitely revved some engines.
Then, there were options for photos. Secret Benefits gives you the ability to put a ridiculous amount of pictures on your profile- and since a picture is worth a thousand words, that’s a whole lot of words!
In regards to pictures, another great feature that I liked was the ability to mark some of my photos as “secret photos,” only accessible to a certain few. I could put my sexier pictures there under lock and key, which made me feel protected, yet like I had something a bit more to offer when a particularly attractive daddy came around. Then, if the right guy asked, or I needed to sweeten the conversation with a little extra sex appeal, I could grant them access to the treasure trove of my sexy snaps.
Using the Site
As I alluded to before, I am pretty familiar with dating websites, and Secret Benefits had a format I was used to. I could get a list of profiles for prospective sugar daddies in my area, with the results filtered (if I so desired) by any sort of criteria I wanted: height, weight, distance from my house… I could even search for an area that I didn’t live in, just in case I was interested in having a quick fling while on vacation… it’s all the features you have to pay extra for on Tinder or Bumble, but easier to access.
There are plenty of different kinds of sugar daddies to choose from, and they’re all looking for something different. Rather than wonder if I had what it takes to fit some sort of “sugar baby mold,” all I had to do was consider what each man was selling, and then ask myself if I was buying. With the different types of sugar daddies, there are obviously plenty of different sugar babies to find on the site, as well.
One thing I enjoyed about the site is that the men pay for various things, like gaining access to my Secret Photos. Usually, the price for anything on the site is no more than they’d pay to send over a beer at a dive bar. Just like making the first move in person, the guy pays the fee to impress his potential sugar baby.
I don’t have to pay for anything on Secret Benefits. My prospective sugar daddy picks up the tab for any minor expenses.
The sugar daddy does not, however, have to take the initiative. I send free messages and hit up as many men as I want. If I like what they had to offer, they get a hello from me. This usually leads to a response, which eventually leads to me granting him access to the Secret Photos, and things would progress from there. For really hot prospects, I sometimes even granted men a peek at the Secret Photos on my very first message, by clicking a convenient little box on the messaging screen before clicking “send”. (One final note about the Secret Photos: you can also revoke access at any time, too. So, if a conversation fizzled out, and a guy was no longer a prospect, I could take back permission to view my photos.)
There were hundreds of sugar daddies in my area to choose from on Secret Benefits! That meaning, there are probably even more sugar babies to choose from. I’ve got to say, after a few weeks of getting the hang of the site, and having some fun shopping profiles, I had started about two dozen conversations, of which ten actually resulted in setting a meeting with a prospective sugar daddy in person: an older, successful gentleman who was ready to treat me right, so long as we came to an agreement. Everybody benefits, or nobody benefits- hence the name of the site.
In the end, I found Secret Benefits to be all that I could have hoped for and more. Thanks to the blogs on the site, I knew what to expect, what to watch out for, and how to best conduct myself in order to precisely get the man, and the relationship, that I wanted. After ten dates, I even got myself a sugar daddy, and we came to an agreement pretty easily! It’s the most casual, laid-back relationship I’ve ever had, and I’m loving the feeling of getting spoiled, simply for dating a man that, to be honest, I’d probably have dated anyway, all things being normal. He’s a really handsome guy with old-school manners. Secret Benefits made me realize that being a sugar daddy or sugar baby isn’t something to be ashamed of in 2017. I found meaningful relationships or the casual ones that some of us want, through the site. To be honest, I’ve had more success on Secret Benefits than any other swipe-right site I’ve tried!
It was easier than I’d thought, due to the way Secret Benefits is set up. There’s a blog on the site for ideas, feedback, and direction if you need help. For the most part, the layout is easy to follow, the features are smart and intuitive, and it seems like the whole site is structured to get out of your way as much as possible.
I highly recommend Secret Benefits for anyone willing to take the leap, or to dip a toe, into the sugar bowl. Sugar dating can be complicated, and the rules of the road can be a little intimidating. Secret Benefits made me comfortable with the process by providing features that made me feel safe, and completely in control.